stepping out of my skin to take a good look at myself.

I know I walk a strange road. In the Malaysian society, the unusual and unorthodox are ill recieved; But I do not care and strive being both. I do things people have always wanted to do but are afraid of society's judgement, and I am resented for it. I will never allow myself to be pinned down by the taboos of the world, for it is surrender to an overconfident enemy.

The more I think about myself, the more I feel shocked at what I have become. I have always admired the lone hero, the anomaly in the norm, the one who doesn't always go with the flow. but now, when I've become like them I begin to see the side affects of being yourself and free. You become alienated from the surrounding world. Society rejects you for going against it, and you begin to wonder if the freedom that you have found is merely making your life but a faze of your actual existence.

I have officially transgressed into one of the wierd. I'm both happy and sad for it. on one hand I finally become the guy I've always wanted to be. but on the other hand I've become the most hated and unpopular guy in all of Kuching. I can contribute much, but without any channel to send my gifts I become redundant, unable to do anything to clear my bad name.

Chaos would be the ultimate medium in which people like me thrive. the commotions and upheavels are the place where the loner truly shines, ignoring the chaos and completing their goals, like the arrow that flies straight in a battle. there is always a chance the arrow might be boken by a flying rock, but if the arrow gets where it's going it would have done what it was supposed to do.

Lol, don't worry, I won't CAUSE the chaos. I'm just stating that it's always when bad things happen that good people always shine.

I suppose this sounds like a load of self-praise, but this is MY way of expressing myself, so I don't care how you interpret it. I'm just feeling so bittersweet.