I shouldn't forget this.

This Morning as I was on the way home with my mom from Parent Teacher's Day, I found a very interesting article on what I may be. It was "DO YOU HAVE AN INDIGO CHILD?"

Apparently after reading through the part where it mentions the ten characteristics of a Indigo Child, I noticed I had seven of those characteristics! I'll type them out for you.

1.they are sensitive and often seem wise beyond their years.

2. they have a desire to live instinctively and often have trouble obeying rules that they don't understand or feel don't make logical sense.

3.they like creative thought-thinking "outside the box"- and get fustrated with systems that are ritualistic and without meaning.

4. Children who may be indigos don't often conform to the systems in our society and try to find a better way to do things.

5. They feel out of place in today's world and have difficulty making friends in school. while some indigo children do well with others, some may seem anti-social to their peers.

6.even young indigo children can feel like they are searching for a greater purpose and often exhibit "big picture" thinking. they will go out of their way to find the truth.

7.An indigo child has a strong intuition, to the point that it may seem like they are psychic. they can easily read people and find hidden agendas.


This may very well be it! the answer to what I am, why I always felt alienated from everyone else, why I always feel suspicious all the time, and most of the time am right and why I always hated rules that made no sense. the answer struck me so hard that I dropped back onto my seat and laughed so suddenly my mom thought I was crazy!

But then it got me thinking, so what if I knew what I was, how was I gonna stop it? especially since the strong intuition bit has gotten way outta hand. I mean, I my life was just soo predictable that it became mudane.

Later after scouts, as I sat alone in the Gazebo in front of the Mill Hill block of my school, staring out at the street ( technically, I wasn't alone, Aaron was sitting just next to me reading a book, but we don't talk much.) the constant clockworks in my head that always overwork themselves hit upon a very radical idea; If m life was too scripted, why don't I do the bad actor and act out of the script? I mean by doing things I wouldn't normally do, or people don't expect me to do. the logic was, if I could f@#$ up my mind well enough with wrong predictions, I could finally convice my mind to slow down for once.

I only hope I'm right, if not everyone will probably think me mad, heheheh.....

Later at dusk, we had a blackout. This wasn't any ordinary blackout I hear as the whole of Sarawak experienced it. But something kept egging me to leave home for some reason, almost as if something was amiss. I couldn't dismiss it so when the power came back I went out with Balto, my german sheperd for a walk and to see if anything was wrong.

I was right.

As I walked along, I gripped my dog's chain tightly, because my dog was also pretty hated in the nieghbourhood by all the other dogs, and I was worried he may get into a fight. but that didn't happen. In fact all the dogs just stared at us. none of them barked, they only watched us as me and my dog walked on by.

when I reached the end of my block, which was lighted by a single street lamp, I was completely unnerved by the near silent atmosphere. I kept looking into the forested area, imagining some monster was going to jump out, then the street lamp just went dead. Immediately I flicked on my torchlight which was in my pocket and braced myself, and scanned the area around me. It was all so silent. So haunting. almost instinctively I began praying the our father and hail marys, terrified that something was going to happen, yet rooted onto the spot because somewhere deep inside, something told me running would be pointless.
but my courage returned with each hail mary, and by the 6th the streetlight came back on and I was able to leave that place. And almost immediately everything returned to normal. The dogs began to bark again as I made my way home, which was suprisingly comforting. but I kept looking back at the end of my neighbourhood.

when I got back home I was relieved. but I felt as if I should have gone out sooner, almost as if I had missed something important. I made up my mind that if I had that notion again, I would waste no time in pursuing it. then the lights went off again.

I didn't have that notion this time, but my head really needed clearing so I headed out again with balto. as I strolled through the unlit street, I noticed how bright it already was, even without the street lights. the moon tonight shone brightly, and I noticed that fireflies were dancing all over the lalang. It was a really beautiful sight.

well, as soon as the lights came back again I went home and began to blog today's happenings.

As for my thoughts on what had happened after the first blackout, I really think something of the supernatural happened when I took that stroll. I know that I still feel uneasy. if my notion was right, then something bad happened tonight.

I really hope I'm wrong this time.