free time, in the hands of a strange mind

Thank god! I was wrong about something bad happening. today was rather uneventful, with nothing of worth to take note of except something that happened about an hour ago.

I was sitting down with my computer, with nothing better to do. Then I decided to redo my friendster profile. was going about it halfway when I suddenly decided friendster was too public, so instead I decided to put what I was writing on how to desribe myself in my blog instead. It all just pretty much just came to me as I typed, so it may be slightly inaccurate in terms of 

here it is.

How to dercribe yourself using an experiment format by the Malaysian Education system.

I, am human. let's begin on that basis.

we move on to the main problem; how does one describe me?

we make a hypothesis; Subject is undefinable because he fits not in any single mainstream, and as a result is written off by society as unnatural and wierd, but if manages to find his true purpose will obtain inner peace and happiness.

next, we list out the apparatus to carry out the experiment; A computer with internet capabilities, The subject himself and a LOT of time.

now, we go throught the procedures;
1. create Subject

2. give 6 main attributes, fun-loving, sarcastic, emotional, increased sense, contemplative, proud.

3.put subject on earth and observe him. the observations and results are recorded and tabulated.

Observation:

1.Display high socializing capabilities during early years. has high ambition, and has a great fascination with heroes of valor and honour. socialising capabilities dissappear by primary 1.

2.Impaired capability to socialize leaves subject unable to fit in his new enviroment, and quickly becomes infamous for being a delinquent and outcast.

3. primary 4, subject is finally able to grasps the mechanics of primary school life, and makes some good friends.

4.primary six, departure period. subject becomes overassured of entering the same secondary school with his friends, and therefore fails to maintain proper contact.

5. form 1. subject becomes completely cut off from his old friends and left to fend for himself in another completely alien enviroment. attributes sarcastic, proud and fun loving quickly earn him much resentment and hatred from everyone in his school. problems from his early years in primary school are repeated.

6. As subject fall into deeper depression and near apparent suicidal characteristics begin to show, help come from unlikely source; a former bully. bully takes subject as friend for subject's artistic talent, but later becomes friends with subject. Bully turned friend helps subject back on track. however, form 1 episode leaves subject very paranoid.

7. Form 2. subject finally gets a weak grasp on the ways of his new enviroment, but still lacks much. subject joins Youth Ministry in search for more friends to help himself adjust. It suceeds, but leaves subject's pride attribute badly damaged and subject experienced with betrayal. sarcastic and fun loving attributes also quickly gain him a bad reputation as an annoying person.

8. while in the scout group, subject gains a good friend. Good friend shares many similar attributes and characteristics, and is well liked. This makes subject realise he can be the same too, if he tried harder.

9.Form 3. Subject gains a good foothold in new enviroment. however, subject slowly notices himself being written off from existence by the very friends he trusted. this belief is confirmed during a youth celebration dinner. subject stood back quietly into a corner and noticed he was all by himself, noone noticed him. noone seemed to care. subject may very well have left that event, if were not for a friend who suddenly became aware subject was gone. this friend compells the subject to stay, and the night resumed as planned. However, subject gains high suspicion characteristic, and never trusts anyone fully anymore.

10. mid form 3. Subject meets someone, a girl in msn, and allows himself to get hopeful.  however, the subject's overly-critical nature and endless mindthought finally drives the girl away, and the subject once again is on his own.

10. end year, form 3. Subject finally gains enough sense to see that he was going nowhere with the youth ministries, and amptly quits from all youth related societies. subject joins a group of gamers instead, and it appears that he may have finally found the right group of friends.

11.begining of form 4. Subject has regained most of his dignity, but misfortune leaves him stranded in a class full of peole who hate him. But as subject is already familliar with the ways of his enviroment, it all resolves quickly with minimal problems.

12. mid form 4. subject's suspiciousness and paranoia finally takes it's toll. subject is unable to function properly, and this leaves him horribly exposed to attack. old grudges are dug out of the dirt and directly used to assault not only his errors, but also his very existence.

13. subject suddenly regains contact with old friends. but subject has changed too much, and found himself unable to interact with his old friends. Subject now find himself fighting on two fronts to reconnect with his old friends and maintain his current one, which leave subject reeling in turmoil and in desperate need of help.

The present situation.
Subject has developed a unusual character, and as a result is considered wierd and anti-social in both environments. subject is now unsure how to procede, but has chosen to continue with experiment in the hopes of attaining the peace and happiness he seeks. experiment is is still in progress, but since a conclusion with the current data has been requested, one will be given on the results so far.

conclusion
the hypothesis can be accepted. however, much is still left to be seen of the subject's still developing future.


there ya go, the experiment to determine me. 

thinking about it now, I think I was right not to post this in friendster, ehehehe....