The precipice of change has chocolate chip cookies

So you were right Sam. One betrayal and three months later I've recovered somewhat, and have enough of my faculties to call you a dick, and admit you saw this coming. Not like noone else did, but you deserve a little spotlight now and then.

Look at Haruki, he's devastated to the point of emptiness. It's like he isn't even there anymore. A case of innocence lost I imagine. Can't blame him though, after all he was the weakest of us all.

Sam, Kenji and Parang. It's almost starting to sound like the start of a bad joke. Aren't we all glad Aziz is slowly forming into a new personality? At least he can pick up the slack Haruki left in the aftermath of devastation.

Not that I blame you Haruki. You loved, and loved hard. You've never really felt contact on that level, almost makes the first seem like a cheap fling (which it was, for her at least). But while you can't be faulted for the sin of loving someone, for god's sake listen to the rest of us now and then! Sam exists because his detachment to emotion lets him think clearly, and Kenji is enough of a viper to have seen this unfolding months before the storm hit. We are the counterpoint to your existence! We provide counsel, cruel and unforgiving it may be, to balance out both your naivety and Parang's willfulness.  We exist, or at least existed, because at some point in the life of this being these characteristics were needed and hence were honed.

At least we're all not laughing anymore. You know we only did it to help you. To make you aware of what you knew for a while was already fishy and dangerous beyond pufferfish stew made by an inexperienced pastry chef, who has a habit of smoking up in the morning before work.

But admittedly, we all fell a little for it too.

In the lapses between puffs of smoke and lonely contemplation I wonder just what I am becoming. For all of you are no longer just personalities that I can bury away whenever I want to be normal huh? You're all bleeding into my daily behaviors, coloring what I am into.... something. I'm not even sure if I can convince myself if I said it was something wrong.

I've decided I can't follow Christianity anymore. Too many flaws. Too many hypocrites, and mere mortals deciding new laws on a whim to better keep their flock from leaving. In fact, I doubt I can follow any concept of religion anymore. But I'm not alone. At least, I think not. There still is something up there. I'm not sure who or what it is, but for now I'd like to believe it's watching out for me. I hope.

Yes Sam, we know. It's not like the attempts at believing have done anything to really convince us that everyone's stumbling around blind.

Although it has been rather fun to adopt the role of the archpriest of chaos. Really, some people can get so amusingly offended of the notion, even if the principles are exactly the same in function. Atheists, Catholics, and Muslims are all labels for essentially the same thing; a belief. Christians believe god sacrificed himself for them, Muslims believe god empowered someone to unite them, and Atheists believe there cannot be anything supernatural to begin with. Belief, in something that cannot be proven or disproven. Pointless debate, but amusing to join in nevertheless. I wonder if anyone has figured out exactly what I stand for, when they aren't just labeling me with whichever side I decided to stand for that particular time.

Tsk tsk tsk, Kenji, you really have come to the fore lately haven't you? Even Sam's somewhat enjoying it. Honestly though, we need it. Any distraction is welcome.

I believe it is time to make something of ourselves. We need to become mighty again, not this, mess. Enough crying and moping for something that clearly held no meaning for anyone but you. Remember what I told you before? You are a WARRIOR. Warriors, do NOT bare their necks when disasters come knocking, we fight it and become STRONGER! Like you are the only person to have ever been betrayed? Three months is enough of a recovery period. We bring the fight back, and this fight will see us cross the seas into the new horizon at last! We will finally be free from all this, can't you all see?

As pessimistic as I may sound Parang, we don't know if the UK will really be any different. Don't let the reports lull you into building up that country into some rendition of our Valhalla. For all we know they might hate weird people as much as people here, although I suppose we can all agree that we'll be speaking our language for once. I do agree this moping about has to come to an end though. We are gone from her memory as surely as beginnings have ends. And as skeptical as I am about all this, I suppose UK does offer, if anything, a goal to strive for.

It will be a while before we convene here again. Perhaps by then Haruki would have reassembled enough of himself to trust and care for people again, and we can finally figure out just what Aziz is.