Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Waiting for sleep

It's 2 am in the god damn morning and I have school at 8. I feel incredibly messed up, like I can't concentrate upon something yet I cannot fall asleep either. It's like one of those limbo states neither here nor there, like standing at the threshold of the hall trying to enter but there's a powerful wind gushing right out, preventing you from taking another step.

Ever get that feeling like when you stop to look back and realize that it was by your own hand that your entire life was fucked up? That maybe every piece of bad luck that has ever happened to me throughout my 18 years of existence was cause by me and me alone? By you own weak will and self subjugated punishment?

Well you already know my answer.

Why now? Why assail myself at this ungodly hour with such morbid thoughts and recollections? The fuck would I know. I'm too stoned to think, too confused to sleep.

I want to try lying down again. Hell maybe it might work this time.

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