I've been contemplating recently, as usual, and seeing how I've acted and how life has passed, I really wonder just WHO I am. It's as if there's two separate entities in me, completely playing off one another, one of rage and hate, the other of mercy and tranquility. I feel pangs of pity when pitted against people, especially those at a disadvantage. But no such feelings are present in my mind when I face..... certain people to whom I hold malice against. I'm a Maverick, being completely uncaring of authority and a born rule breaker, and yet I still strangely attracted to the military and religious duties which REQUIRE a disciplined mind and body. I got it, I think I'm not against rules, but I'm against not being allowed to choose to follow only the ones which make sense. Mind you, I'm not some madman breaking rules just because I want to, although that prospect... Nah, not worth the energy.
I have to be careful though, being what I am now means I now tread the very fine line between just contradicting myself and being a hypocrite. Hopefully I'm not the latter of the two, I would be the very thing I despise.
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