Stagnation in progress

A concerned friend finds my change drastic.
She finds me to be too emotional over things, and I should try and man up a little.

By the way; I'm in love, and it's mutual. whoopedoo.
A whirlwind romance, 7 days are all who can speak of any love that blossomed.
Naturally, doubt always finds it's way into almost perfect situations.

But anyway, back to the matter.

she's concerned for me and my girl.
You're both all emotionally affected, she says.
put a smile on, she needs it as much as you.
Time is all we need she suggests,
perhaps false optimism too, I think.

I voice my disdain for such theatrics; It wasn't as it I had even given up yet.
she assumes it's just cause I've lost all hope,
in fact, it's anything but.
so to her relentless attempts to cure what isn't broken,
I remind her I'm not who she assumes I am.
"my mind works differently." I say.

"I don't expect you to understand,
but listen.
It's been always my way to move without end,
burning whatever kept me in place,
whatever brought me down.
this, state is stagnation;
it grates my heart staying this way.

but this time

I'm making an exception to wait.
I'm not moving on.

not till I've made sure I can carry this bridge with me."

She seemed satisfied. I reminded her to speak nothing to my love; she must make the choice without knowing just what she's putting me through.
The friend agrees. And I am left in peace.

Peace?
There is no peace.
Not while I stay this way.
Not until the wind is in my face again.
Not till she's made her choice.

Whether she chooses to stay with me,
Or decides to leave me be,

I will not move until I've either burnt this bridge to ashes, or pulled it up by it's roots and taken the whole thing with me.

That is my promise.
And until the choice is made,
I will do nothing.