Sunday's epic fail

I've spent my weekend in Nilai, and I am quite happy to say was rather devoid of any misfortunes of any sort, and the two days I had spent there passed rather pleasantly. So based on the assumption that all good things come to an end, I suppose it makes perfect sense that the weekend be ended with a fuck up.

It has been on my conscience for quite a while that I have been neglecting the obligation of attending Sunday mass, and it was this week that I had decided to bring the wayward wandering to an end by making sure I received the holy communion. Don’t ask me the whys of it, it was simply a feeling that had stirred within me to make the pact to go to church, and despite my shortcomings in most areas, I do indeed take my promises and pacts with at upmost seriousness. I was quite tired from waking up at 8 o’clock after a long night of gaming and chatting with Bax and Sheril, (the activities being done in that order with that same order of friends) so naturally the first thing that would happen when I awoke, was to give myself another five minutes by setting the alarm to snooze. And so I gave myself a total of four five minutes before I jumped out of bed, got ready and rushed down to the bus stop.

This led to me arriving at the bus stop at 8:39 without a single one of those large transports in sight, and quite understandably, I was worried about being late for mass, so I decided that I wouldn't mind spending a little money to get there on time, so I hailed myself a cab. When one finally pulled over, I asked him to take me to the church and he complied. So, confident that I would arrive on time, and still a little sleepy from the night, I let myself take a nap.Waking up about 10-15 minutes later, I was surprised to see myself still within the cab. It took a while, perhaps 2 seconds for my drowsy mind to register the large palm oil plantations on either side of the cab, and 3 seconds more to realize we were on the highway. The meter had run up to a healthy sum of 20 ringgit, so I asked the cab driver How much further was this church. Eyes still on the road, the rather stout bald chinese man replied "Oh, this church very far lah, it near the Sunway Pyramid that one you know?"

Sunway. The coined dropped; I had just agreed to pay for a cab ride all the way to a church in Sunway, from Nilai. As we were already halfway along the journey, I could only lighten my mood by entertaining the thought of napping in my own room before going back to Nilai to collect my bag.... Which had my keys. So fine, now I had to only knock on Wong's door for my spare. More charcoal to the fire was the fact that I was using Bax's phone as mine had been acting up again, and since it was his phone all I had were his contacts, and what's more; he didn't save his own number into his phone. Now I had no way of telling him or anyone who could help me.

We arrived at Sunway, and feeling the burn in my wallet as I passed a FIFTY FUCKING BUCK cab fee, was directed to a building that looked nothing like the church I had been accustomed to attend in my early days in Subang. Seeing as I had the reassuranceof the cab driver that the rather grey building in front of me was indeed a "gereja," and that "orang hitam" from Inti college usually came here for sermons, albeit they went by fucking bus, I walked through the front gate. The first thing that raised an warning siren that something was amiss was the smiling faces on all the people in the patio. I was greeted by a rather cute girl within her teens, longed hair and wearing a white shirt with a well fitting unbuttoned black sweater over it.

"Hello! is this your first time here?"

"Uh, yes, yes it is."

"Ok then, welcome to Harvest!"

"Harvest? wait wait is this a chur-"

"Please come on in! You're just in time for the first song!"

And so I was ushered right in. passing through the patio of smilling people, I realized to my horror that most of them wore similar matching attire with the girl who was leading me in. In my experience, the only time that happens under the guise of a religious gathering is that it's a cult meeting, a semminar, or worse...

"Please come this way!" and urged on by the girl, I found myself stepping through the black veil into a horror I thought I had left well behind me back in Kuching.

It was a christian youth gathering.

And just like previous gatherings I had been to, it was filled with christian fanatical hippies singing and waving their hands in a concert lit hall to various christian songs. I was ushered towards the forward area, nearer to the choir/bandplaying their music in apparently faith filled estacy.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the people who go to such gatherings, or the people who organize and do them. They've chosen their way of worship, and if it has to be hippie-like activities but instead about Jesus and christianity (the peacepart ever an integral part of hippy activities) without the drugs and sex, who am I to argue? Hell, I've helped out my fair share of christian gatherings on the side because I don't see the point in denying these people their way of worship.But just cause all that dancing and singing works for them doesn't mean it'll work for me. And so, like most of the times I accidentally found myself carried away by the crowd into such gatherings, I found myself extremely uncomfortable with the various happy singing hippies all around me, and I excused myself and left the place as fast as I could.

And finally, when I found the church that I used to attend on Sundays, which was actually just a school which had rented it's assembly hall out to the catholic community so that people around here have one less excuse to not attend mass on Sundays.(To my relief, it was only around the corner from the "Harvest" and down a really long road) I walked up two flights of stairs to find the hall being cleared out. Finding the closest person that looked like part of the church volunteer group (you can usually tell them apart from the normal people by virtue of them being the only people clearing out the chairs and equipment used for the orchestrations of a mass. Unless they're hippies; then they're just plain helpful) and I asked when the evening mass began. If there was an evening mass in this church all the better, that meant all I had to do was go back to Nilai, rush the fuck back and rest till it was time for mass.

"Oh ah, I think ah, you either go to St. Francis Xavier or Petaling Jaya."

"Oh ok, is it within walking distance?"

"No no, ah, I think you ask this guy better, uncle ah!"

He gestured towards an elderly person who upon hearing his seniority mentioned, looked up from three chairs he was about to move to the side of the room.After being given the instructions, I felt my heart sank. Not only was this church far off from here which made my plan impossible, I couldn't even wait for the next mass at 11 to begin. (By an immense stroke of good fortune my uncle had called me because he was in need of some work done, and so after relaying my situation to him, agreed to take me to Nilai and back to collect my things and get back to Subang.This also unfortunately meant I couldn't stay for any 11 o'clock masses, as my uncle would be busy after 12.) As my uncle didn't know where this makeshift place of worship was, I had to walk my way down to Taylors, and quite annoyingly,was within spitting distance of my apartment door. (Found two stray kittens on my way back, bought milk and fed the little buggers)

I returned to Nilai, got my things together, said goodbye to bax and followed my uncle around. After lunch and a short rest, I was dropped off at St. Francis Xavier church. Now, mass started at 5:30, and I was dropped off at 2. So what's a man to do with three hours in a church compound? Why, look for an empty conference room and set up shop naturally.
With my laptop in place, phone set to charge and freshed up with the conveniently placed toilet inside the conference room (Honestly, this is the first one I've ever seen. The place was better than my room dammit.), I wrote. I wrote this entire thing, recording this tale for future reference to epic fails, maybe look for a way to draw some lesson from this.

Who knows, when I find one I'll write it down.

As for the mass, it was exactly what I hoped for. After stumbling around, fighting losing battles with depression and betrayal, I've finally found the peace I sought. Maybe that's the lesson. Maybe the lesson's about how the devil likes fucking up people who try to find god, I dunno.

But at long last, I can say I've found serenity again, short a time as it was. And maybe when i get back to Kuching, I can find something more.