Ostrich Whacking

I find myself staring at two ostriches with their heads in the sand, my heart in pained frustration and wondering which one pisses me off more.
On one hand I have the fool messenger who retracts her head faster than a turtle when something so much as brushes against her beliefs and self ego. On the other I have the one who started it all. Misinterpretations of actions and choices has made her believe that I have banded against her and intentionally seek her decimation of self worth.
I ask you, is it not foolish to simply avoid what you cannot overcome? Would it not be wise to learn how to fight the obstacle? To develop an immunity to the virus that has so easily broken through her defensive layers? She says she left it all behind her, the bitching, the deceit and the manipulations, but doesn’t she knows it won’t leave her? Isn’t it clear that there will always be those people around in life, and circumstances may prove unfortunate to pit us against them?
Why not learn to wield the sword that has been given to you? Noone asks you to use it, but is it wrong to know how?
Perhaps it is because I have been treating everyone the same so long that I have not learnt how to butter up the same piece of advice to serve up to different kinds of people. I cannot explain the concept for warfare and tactics as easily to a girl as I could to a guy. I guess I’ve been looking at her like a second me, and I should’ve remembered that she is still different. Not even speaking from a physical sense, there are things that still define us as individual characters, and I cannot simply assume my values will be accepted by her just cause she’s my clone.
I guess just have this spite for people who do nothing about their weaknesses when they can, how they reject the chance to change and continue to wander in their own little worlds. But am I the same? Can it be that I’m the hypocrite? I must ask myself, because the sin of willful ignorance is greater than most.
I TRY to stay by my principles, I try to spread them. But I guess I was wrong to try and impose them. That in itself is a form of hypocrisy. So what if she’s walking in that world? It is not my right to pull her out of it, nor shatter it’s carefully built walls.
Do I worry if She’d read this? No, doubt she would, not after our fight. If she did, she’s better than I had hoped, which in that case I say to her “I’m sorry for imposing my values and perceptions on you. I’ll talk less for the sake of salvaging the friendship that by reading this blog, you may have begun to forgive.”
I am very, very tired. If this is what I must wage war against on a day to day basis, I wonder whether I want any part of it at all.